The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
