You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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