The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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