I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
