Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
