Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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