I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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