woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize