New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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