you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
