There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
