I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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