Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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