Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
