I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
