Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
