He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize