I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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