do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
