I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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