he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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