Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
