its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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