ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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