I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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