he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
