I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
