Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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