her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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