If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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