There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize