how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
