Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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