fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
