We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
