Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
