dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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