hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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