where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
