he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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