Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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