Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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