Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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