i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
