Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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