IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she smelled like a LAN party
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
