That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
