guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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