I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
