Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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