what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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