Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
