Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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