I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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